Thursday, February 25, 2010

You know what I hate?
At least at this moment.
Doing the right thing.

Yes, I hate doing the right thing.
I hate being mature about situations.
And knowing the right thing to do.

And telling someone I don't want to be with them.
I need sometime to figure myself out.
Because I know if I didn't do that I would just ruin the relationship forever.

Oh, and finally the time comes around when my electron
My electron is screaming out, I'm ready to bond with you!! I'm ready!
You're the one! You're the one I'm supposed to be bonding with! We complete each other!
And you've both always known it, you've known since the moment you met

And as your electron screams that out, its broken free of any previous bonds...
That other electron. The perfect one that could complete you.
Is bonding with someone else.
And you feel absolutely miserable
Because you've missed your chance.
And in the moment, it hurts so much,
why? here's why...

Because. Because the electron they're bonding with is not deformed or ugly or disgusting... no, that electron is awesome. And they deserve an awesome electron. And they're happy.

And in the end that's all you want them to be. Happy.
And worst of all,
the reason you missed your chance
wasn't because they were being dumb
or because some tragic event happened
it was because you made a choice to say,
No. I actually need more time than this.
I need to figure this out to be able to make things work.

I wish I was stupid and irrational and just had never tried to do what's best.
All I keep thinking to myself is
"My God, I could have probably been engaged by now."
Isn't that crazy? But I wouldn't have been. And me and aforementioned perfect electron would have just fizzled and combusted because I wasn't ready. I wasn't ready to let go of something that was never going to work out.

I missed out and I feel dumb.
I missed out because I made a mature choice and now I'm paying for it.
Fuck maturity. I'm over it.

Thank you blog world for listening to my rant. After all, these are my confessions. Suck it.