Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Let me begin...

My friends and I have a joke. We are each a character of Sex and the City. My friend, Diane, is Charlotte, due to her sense of romanticism, love and commitment. My friend, Katie, is Samantha due to her resistance against marriage and her ability to be a completely satisfied person single. No one is Miranda because we think she is a heinous hagbitch.

And I'm Carrie. I'm complicated, yet cautious; romantic, yet cynical; confused, yet headstrong. I watch Sex and the City and find Carrie knows my life. I identify with her completely and entirely. I'm a writer, too. It fits. My friend and I fit perfectly in our own little SATC world. 

I love when we get together and relate every happenings in our life to episodes of SATC, I love watching an episode and completely and totally identifying with everything those lovely ladies are talking about. Last summer, before the premiere of the Sex and the City movie, the three of us gathered together each night at one of our houses and had an SATC marathon. As corny and ridiculous as this may sound, it brought the three of us closer together. We were all back from college, all with stories to tell, all with new relationships blooming, and Carrie and the gang to get us going. We spent the nights gabbing about our love lives, nicknaming boys, talking about what makes each us tick and what we want from relationships. 

I have always been an extremely private person with my relationships up until about a year ago. I didn't like to tell the details about any happenings within my boyfriend and I's little world. I still try to remain as private as possible, but instead of hiding the facts from the world, I've learned that I have to share things. Why keep everything bottled inside when you have fabulous girlfriends to listen to your stories and help you through the worst of times and cherish the best of times? 

So, letting out these worlds to two of my closest girls was awesome. By the time of the midnight SATC Movie premiere we were tight, and felt so close to these ladies (both on screen and off). Throughout the movie, we couldn't help but gaps in unison, cry into each others shoulders, and grab onto each other's thighs when something fantastic (or something terrible) happened. We loved these woman on the screen as if they were a part of the posse, and I think we loved these fictional characters so much because they had pushed us to discuss, frankly speak, and open up about our lives to each other. They brought us together.

Since, Sex and the City has been an obsession with me. I love the idea about being open about sex, life, love, and saying, "Hey cutie pie! Listen! Someone out there can relate to you! Here's there story! Come cry, laugh, scream, and love with me!!" 

...and who says I can't be the person saying those things. Who says I have to stay private about my life when I have a fantastic/dramatic/ridiculous/absurd/wonderful life that other people might be able to identify with?

So I'm going to be Carrie. Well, a gay male version of Carrie. I want to write about my sex life, my love life, my friends life, my life. I want to let the world in on what its like to be the gay best friend and the stories that have to be told. Because, maybe, just maybe, there is someone out there who is going through the same thing and needs to know they're not alone. And maybe, by finally being open about these things in my life, I can finally start figuring myself out. 

I'm going to be straight up, I'm not totally doing this blog thing for the sake of helping others, but also for helping myself. There are so many things that are going on in my head, so many stories of bad boyfriends and good boyfriends, betrayal and love, companionship and hate, friendship and lust... I need to spill. For. Real.

So hopefully, someone will relate to me. I'm not Carrie, my life is probably no where near as fantastic and hers is, but I know I have something to say... so I'm going to say it. And maybe I'll figure me out. And maybe someone else can figure themselves out too.

These of the confessions of your gay best friend.
The answers to questions that people are to afraid to ask.
The one's that movies, books, and even other gay men are afraid to talk about.
This is where the gay best friend stops being a supporting role.
And becomes a lead. 
Because its about time someone started talking about it.... 



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