Tuesday, April 7, 2009

...to pick you up on our very first date

“The worst thing a man could ever do is kiss me on the first date.”
~ Halle Berry

I went on a first date last night. Now, if there's one thing that I'm not a pro at... it's first dates. For some reason in my life, I have only had a small handful of actual first dates. My relationships usually fall into place through unconventional ways (I'll tell you about those some other time...). I'm not normally a date kind of person. The last time I had a first date was around seven months ago, and was a huge flop, that resulted in some mediocre fooling around and me not calling him back...

So getting thrown back into the first date scene was a little frightening.

Getting thrown back into the dating scene was a little frightening.

I don't know what it is, but there is something about re-entering the dating scene post break-up. No matter how over your previous relationship you are, there's still something incredibly scary about taking that risk, putting yourself out there again. It's a fear of rejection, a fear of this new relationship contender not living up to the expectations set by your previous boyfriend,  it's a fear of once again it not working out and the impending fear of forever being single....

...I'm a little overdramatic...

Anyway, I knew eventually I would have to leave post-break-up-recovery world or at least take a step towards the exit. First Dater and I had been been text flirting for over a week, we had a late night hang out over the weekend, and then decided to go on an official first date. The previous late night hang out had taken the ease of the first date, we had already established we could talk for awhile so hopefully awkward pauses and conversation lulls would be a minimum. 

Instead of writing another relationship article, I have decided to simply give you a break down of how the date went down. Please, enjoy: 

1) I'm indecisive and have failed to pick out a restaurant, as a last minute ditch effort I suggest a nearby hang out spot with a bunch of places to eat and hang out

2) Due to my lackage of car, he has to come pick me up, I feel like a 12 year old, he feels special.

3) Bad choice suggesting a location where I'm not familiar with any of the restaurants... and neither is he...

4) Luckily, he is decisive and picks out a nice sushi bar.

5) We go in, but awkwardly the host gives us a choice to sit upstairs, downstairs, or at the bar. Once again, being indecisive, we stand around a few moments, because I can't make a decision. We eventually chose to go upstairs where we then have to make a choice to sit at the bar or at a table. I chose a table, because I want to be able to actually talk to him. Apparently, the section of tables we wanted to sit at were reserved. We awkwardly move to a new section, and hope we'll be served there.

6) We get a menu. After I have to go up to the bar and ask for one... Because neither of us are familiar with the sushi bar, or really sushi in general, the menu is overwhelming. Thus, there is much silence as we try and decipher what the menu was telling us. Finally the bar tender walks over and we ask her to help. 

7) After the big decision on what to eat is made (much thanks to the lovely lady working the bar), we can finally dig in to some awesome conversation.

8) Conversation is really great. We eventually hit our first minor lull. I pretend to yawn to devoid any possible awkwardness. Emergency lull/stereotypical first date questions get pulled out, i.e. who is your favorite singer?

9) We bond over music. Score! Stereotypical first date question: success!

10) Food is delicious. I offer him a sushi roll, he offers me some of his fried rice. It's kind of cute. 

11) Conversation continues to be really great. He asks about past relationships, I pass, citing that I don't want to bring up the 'Ex Files'. I figure avoiding any talk about past relationships, especially since I'm still in post-break-up-recovery world from a serious relationship, it was a good idea.

12) We bond over a lot of thing, start to get to know each other. Talk about pet peeves, and our families. It's really nice.

13) Plates have been cleared, the check has arrived. I pull out my wallet to pay, and he insists that he pays. Major points.

14) We continue to talk for a bit, and I ask him about this weekend. Aka... we set a second date :)

15) It's a Monday night, and I have homework to finish. I'm a wet blanket and put an end to the date. He drives me home.

16) Final moment. We're parked in front of my apartment. The ultimate question, something I had been actually thinking about for a lot of the second half of the night. Do we kiss? I can't decide. I'm not sure what to do... we lean in... Hug. The moment wasn't right for the first kiss. I'm cool with this, and am happy that we hugged. I get out of the car and head up to my apartment and respond to a text Diane sent me while I was at dinner as well as filling her in on what a success the evening was.

17) He texts me later that night to tell me what a good time he had. And now, I'm really excited. Bring it on, second date, bring it on. 

Maybe I'm not so bad at this first date thing, after all, huh? :)


  1. That sounds really fun! I hope the second date goes just as well...keep us posted :)

  2. Hah, "ex files". That's clever. I laughed out loud at that.

    Congratulations, James! I'm glad you had a great time! It's good to see that you've got good stuff going on. Hope you're otherwise doing well, too!

  3. So does he know you have a blog??